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Blog Posts
Becoming Someone Else
After this assignment was announced in class, I struggled for days thinking about what I would change about myself. I asked around to see other people’s perspectives and the answers all related to changing my outfit for a day. By default, I decided to challenge myself to change my physical appearance. This meant switching from comfy clothing to fitted clothing.
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Growing up, I have always struggled with identity and finding my “aesthetic” when it came to physical appearance. This stems from being overweight for the majority of my life. I never felt confident enough to express myself through fashion. In my head, I believed that some styles would never look good on me and I should stick to oversized clothing. Once COVID-19 hit the U.S., I took quarantine as an opportunity to start working out and living a healthy lifestyle. You would think that changing my eating habits would help me change my fashion sense. However, that never happened. With everything being on Zoom, I felt there was no point to switch up my style. I did not feel comfortable showing the world my progress from working out. I felt like it became a trend and decided to hide. For the entirety of Fall semester 2020, I mostly wore oversized UIUC sweatshirts and sweatpants.
For my makeover, I decided to simply just change my outfit and see if my roommates and friends would notice. I wore a floral top and mom jeans. I call this my Urban Outfitters inspired look because this is the typical style I see on the website. A major thing I noticed about this outfit is that it accentuated my curves, which honestly terrified me because I am still very insecure about the way I present myself. I told myself that to be successful with this new transition, I need to exude confidence even if I do not truly feel it. Once I left my room, my two roommates were shocked. They were not weird about it but complimented me heavily which is very uncommon of them. Comments I received from them were “Wow you look amazing” and “You’re finally not hiding behind your old sweats anymore. We can finally see you.” I was extremely flattered and smiled because I rarely get compliments about my outfits from them.
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Since it was below zero the day of my makeover, I decided to Facetime my parents who are in Chicago to show off my look. With them, I was expecting criticism because that’s how they typically comment on my outfits. This time, however, they were applauding me for finally wearing something different. My mom was extremely happy and called me beautiful. That comment meant the world to me because it is very rare for my mother to call me beautiful based on my outfits. This experience showed me that I should not view myself as one-dimensional and feel confident in my skin.
Subsequently, my overall experience connected to the principles stated in the Bucholtz and Hall reading. First, I resonated with the positionality principle, which I interpret as how I view my own identity based on my upbringing. For my innovative quotative marker, a phrase used frequently in the article, I self-position myself as an individual who focuses on school and personal relationships. Since it has always been this way, I never truly focused on my physical appearance as much as I did my homework. While I always wished I followed today’s fashion trends, I never felt compelled to because it was not my top priority.
Another principle that connected to my experience was indexicality. I am guilty of labeling myself as the “Mom friend who will never get her chance to shine.” This mainly meant hiding behind my oversized clothes and accepting that my friends will always rock today’s fashion. In other words, being on the outside looking in. After the experience of wearing something trendy, I viewed myself as someone who is confident and can have my moment to shine. This was very telling because it showed me that I should not stick to one thing. It is more important to be open-minded to different styles and understand that I can dress however I want to dress. Based on the reaction of the people in my life, I noticed that they respect me more because I am finally taking a risk with my physical appearance. Finally, the third principle I related to was emergence. As I expressed earlier, my goal was to exude confidence. When I spoke to my roommates, I refrained from saying things like “I feel weird” or “This is not me.” I wore an outfit and made it a part of my identity. I took a positive approach with how I expressed myself to people in order to have a successful outcome.
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In conclusion, this experience showed me that I should not limit myself to one label and be open to taking risks. I can both wear oversized clothes and fitted clothes. This assignment allowed me to find my beauty. Time to order more stuff from Urban Outfitters!
Self Shape
A shape that best represents me? That was quite a doozy.
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After class last Tuesday, I was quite conflicted on what shape shows the world who I am. It was rough because I never saw myself as a shape. I only saw myself as a living and breathing human. One of the requirements stated to lean away from existing cultural signs, which is fair because that would have made it an easier project. I got to the point where I was overthinking what to even draw. The thought of using a drawing app crossed my mind, but I decided to go old school and draw my shape on paper. I was confused about how to start, so I took the next few days after class to brainstorm a meaningful piece.
For my shape, I used only colored pencils since they were the only art materials I had in my apartment. Before I had my final product, I drew on a couple of other pieces of paper. The first rejected piece was nothing special at all. It was a quick sketch of squiggly lines taking up the entire ink paper. I did not even add color to it. I used a blue pen for the outline. When I was drawing, I felt that I was stirring away from the project’s objectives. I felt like I was just drawing whatever came to mind, rather than drawing what best represents me. So, I started over.
The next piece was the same concept as the previous one. I drew squiggly lines but added more color to it this time. In my opinion, I did not think it looked like a shape at all. It looked more like an abstract drawing rather than a shape. I drew a couple of logos of things I enjoy. These logos were from Spotify and Netflix. While they are things I deeply connected with over the years, I didn’t think that it was best associated with me because everybody uses those platforms daily. I also drew a cultural flag that represents my Malawian heritage, but I wanted to refrain from that. Especially because that counts as a cultural sign. I wanted to create a unique shape filled with color, so I discarded this piece as well.
I started my third piece of paper and this became the final product. First off, I drew an organic shape in the middle of the page. It resembles a circle but with squiggly borders. For the borders, I filled them in with a sky blue color. This represents sadness in my eyes. Considering it is in the borders, I wanted it to highlight sad moments I have experienced that have shaped me. Next, I added the color purple above the blue to highlight the never ending thoughts that take over my mind. I grew up as a shy and observant person. I have grown out of being a shy person, but I have always been an internal processor with my emotions, thoughts, and fears. The third color is red and it shows my love. I see myself as extremely loving and kind. I love spreading joy and being selfless to others. You will notice little red stars in the coloring. That doesn’t represent anything specific-I just enjoy stars. The red compliments the purple because while I do enjoy giving back to others, I sometimes feel like I never put my well-being first. That is something that I am working on, which leads to the next color: green. The green takes up a major part of my shape. As I was lightly shading in the color, I wanted to ensure that all of the white is not colored in. This represents my growth. I thought it was pretty clever because plants grow and most plants are green. My life has been a range of highs and lows. The white across the green displays how I am still on the journey of self-growth and bettering my mental health. For the final part of the drawing, I added a spiral drawing on top of the green shade. The goal was to highlight the many obstacles that I am bound to overcome during this growth process. I found it to be a nice finish to my organic shape.
While this project was tough to navigate at first, I found it to be an enjoyable one. It allowed me to draw, which is very therapeutic for me. It also allowed me to be original and think outside the box with my drawing. I found the true meaning behind these colors and made it a piece that best represents me.
Customize It
For my blog assignment, I decided to use a candle for my customizable object. In my apartment, my roommate and I collect candles from different brands. These brands include Yankee Candle, Glade, and Bath & Body Works. For this project, I wanted to use my Complete Home candle from Walgreens. What stands out to me about this candle is that it is
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Small
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Oatmeal Cookie-scented (It is so hard not to eat it)
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A light brown lid
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The Complete Home logo, which has an oatmeal cookie on it.
When conducting my mock interview with the candle, I was able to understand it much better. When you light candles, you typically just leave them alone rather than acknowledging them. The next time people pay attention to candles is when they want to blow out the flame. Candles may be there to light, but they can also be seen as decorative pieces. Additionally, candles can make an area smell great as it burns. Especially the food-scented candles can leave a lasting smell. Candles come in different colors and shapes, but they all get the job done. Well, until the wick melts into the candle.
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Since my roommates and I share our candles, I decided to not make a drastic change to my item. I decided to go the route of adding something to the candle. My goal was to make the candle not look like one at first glance. What I did to customize it was added a piece of paper over the logo that says “PLEASE TAKE ONE.” Once I added that I took chocolates from my candy jar and placed them into the candle. All in all, I remixed my candle into a nicely scented candy jar.
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This relates to Ferguson’s idea of “Everything is a Remix.” I agree with this because instead of letting a candle burn all the way through, it can be useful for other things. If I wanted to, I could have cleaned out the entire candle and replaced it with ice cream. Anything is customizable and can transform into something essential or decorative. At first glance, my candle appears as a thing that is now meant to store candy, rather than just to light up. I am planning on keeping my candle candy jar until all the chocolates are all gone.
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Never Seen, Never Will
During the brainstorming process for my blog post, I came across an idea that resonates with me. Something that I have never seen before in my life is glaciers.
Glaciers exist in every continent except Australia, which is very interesting because there are many locations for me to see them. The areas that have extensive glaciers are Antarctica, Greenland, and Alaska. Throughout my lifetime, I would only see glaciers in scientific textbooks, travel commercials, and magazines. Glaciers look very beautiful in the pictures, however, I know I will never see one in person because of my fear of too much ice. I know what you are thinking. How do I survive living in the Midwest when it snows every winter? How do I deal with icy sidewalks? It is a struggle for me because I get scared of slipping on the ice. It doesn't matter if I am wearing suitable snow boots, I will walk extremely slow to ensure I keep my balance. This fear of ice exists especially when it comes to ice skating. I never wore ice skates, and I doubt I will ever be successful with glacier hiking.
When I was researching glacier hiking in Iceland, I got a better understanding of the mechanics behind it. Originally, I was under the impression that you need to be skilled at wearing skates to participate in these hikes. In actuality, anyone can participate as long as they have the proper equipment. For example, crampons are recommended for people to wear during these tours to stay steady on the icy grounds. I appreciate how there are many different resources for visitors to properly explore these glacier-filled locations.
For my remediation, I decided to create a Google slides presentation that is an incomplete itinerary for a trip to Iceland. Knowing that I never want to travel to Iceland or go glacier hiking, I wanted to create a personal slideshow to plan out what I will do/bring for my faux trip. I understand that making a presentation is very different than experiencing the glacial valley atmosphere in person, but it is nice to fantasize about. In the Bolter and Grusin reading, it states “The digital medium can be more aggressive in its remediation. It can try to refashion the older medium or media entirely, while still marking the presence of the older media and therefore maintaining a sense of multiplicity or hypermediacy.” My digital medium is an exaggeration of how glacial hiking occurs in Iceland. I made it seem like it was an easy process. What I believe that all participants of these tours need is to let go of their fears. That is something I unfortunately cannot overcome because I prefer to walk on solid ground without carrying a million things on my back. Additionally, it is cold in Iceland and being surrounded by ice caps is quite scary to me.
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Well, all I can do is dream about it.
Click on the image below to view my Google Slides presentation! It also includes fun facts about glaciers.
The Art of Complaining
He said “I like you and deeply care about you. I can see myself having a future with you. However, I think we should keep things casual right now.”
This complaint is quite personal. However, it is a universal topic that affects many of us and leads to bigger topics like mental health. Time to talk about feelings.
What I want to complain about is situationships. Think about relationships, but the ones where there are no strings attached. A key thing about situationships is you are neither friends or lovers. Just two people who enjoy fooling around with each other. The expectations are very minimal and your interactions are strictly casual. According to healthline.com, situationship is defined as “ a romantic relationship that’s undefined or uncommitted. It may be based on convenience or short-term circumstances. That doesn’t mean a situationship can’t have some or even all the trappings of a regular relationship, including an emotional connection.” To sum it up, you get the perks of having a romantic connection with someone else without having to feel the pressure of rushing into a relationship. When did we reach a point in our society that we would do anything but commit to one another?
As my junior year is nearing its end, I had time to reflect on my own situationship. It lasted the entire school year but we never officially labeled it that. He and I discussed our status countless times considering the fact he is a senior. All in all, it was still a situation that both of us did not know how to navigate. What is inevitable about situationships is someone is going to catch feelings. Yes, that was me. My complaint is we should never have to feel sorry for developing feelings. We are human after all. If you spend time with someone, especially for several months, you feel a sense of comfort. It is a beautiful thing to start falling in love. Many situationships turn into relationships. Others end up in a nasty separation. For me and my gentleman friend? We just continue keeping in touch because we both can't let go of one another. It may be easier to end things, but you comparmelize your partner as someone who you still deeply care about. Also, I still need his HBOMax account to continue watching The O.C and Euphoria.
The discussion of situationships leads to the issue of hookup culture on college campuses. Hookup culture is prevalent and normalized, which leads to people relying on it rather than committing to monogamous relationships. While the Reyes article discusses the connection between activism and organizing, it allowed me to view the complications with situationships as something that needs to be fixed. It highlights how our generation treats one another and how we deal with romantic relationships. Healthy relationships is something that is worth advocating for. Situationships are not an easy escape. While it is casual, there is always a chance it could lead to a strain on an individual’s mental health. As discussed in the article, “And critical to this process is recognizing issues as secondary to building relationships with and between the people affected by said issues; without people to become a part of a moment, the movement doesn’t happen.” This shows that we need to all do our part to discuss the importance of healthy relationships. Relationship may be a scary word for many, but people need to understand that what comes with spending with another person comes with boundaries, respect, communication, etc. Those who have dealt with being in the prolonged “talking stage” agree that it is very draining because it is very open ended. It can also turn into a manipulative and dangerous situation.
Thus, it may seem fun to live this in a fantasy where hooking up with random people brings you so much joy. You can keep your options open and not feel emotionally attached. In many cases, if you meet that person who you continue to see, feelings may develop. There is no handbook for how to navigate situationships. It all is based on the two people involved. It still is very hard like any other relationship.
“Keep things casual in order to keep seeing you? Of course I am in.” Shake my head.
To learn about situationships, visit this article:
Brito, Janet. “Is It a Situationship and Does That Matter?” Health Line, https://www.healthline.com/health/situationship#:~:text=A%20situationship%20is%20a%20romantic,convenience%20or%20short%2Dterm%20circumstances.&text=Most%20situationships%20involve%20some%20form,than%20a%20casual%20sexual%20encounter. Accessed 25 April 2021.
Advocacy Proposal
For my advocacy proposal, my topic will revolve around how the UIUC campus should provide free menstrual products in public restrooms. Considering things are expected to shift back into in-person learning, I believe it is important to discuss how the University can implement installing dispensaries full of menstrual products so college students can have access to them in a time of need. We must take action against period poverty that continues to affect our society.
The scope of my project is going to bring awareness of the period health gap that exists in the US, but I want to narrow it down to the UIUC campus and how it affects students. I was inspired to write about this topic because I recalled going into campus buildings and they had empty 25 cent pad/tampon dispensaries. I also want to focus on how the pandemic has made it difficult for people to secure these products. For example, discuss the financial gap between students and how there is limited supply of pads and tampons in many nearby stores. What I am going to ensure to discuss is how period products should not only be limited to female restrooms. A quote that stuck out to me while researching more about this topic is “Not all those who mensturate are women, and not all women menstruate” (Mercury News). Overall, I want to advocate for period products being available in all restrooms to assist trans men who continue to menstruate. When I discuss who menstruates, I will use words like “people” and “those who mensturate” to make it more inclusive. The target audience for this proposal is towards everyone who is curious about the fight for free menstrual products on campus. I believe that menstrual products should be seen as an essential item like toilet paper rather than a taxed item. What I want to do is make an infographic or website that shows how period poverty affects UIUC’s students.
When it is the time of the month, it is always important to have menstrual products on the ready. However, it can also be difficult for individuals who are unable to afford these products. According to SWNS Digital, “Results revealed the average woman surveyed spends $13.25 a month on menstrual products ‒ that’s $6,360 in an average woman’s reproductive lifetime (ages 12-52).” This highlights how expensive these products can be over time and it is difficult to use these products sparingly depending on an individual’s menstrual cycle. Some may last for 3 days, other cycles can go on for an entire week. Having easy access to these products in campus buildings can help students who are unable to spend over $1o each month for them. For the past few years, there has been more advocacy to abolish the Tampon Tax, which is defined as a sales tax imposed on menstrual hygiene products. This tax is extremely unconstitutional and displays these products as luxury items. Being in college is difficult enough with having to deal with costs for books, groceries, tuition, etc. Having menstrual products available for free benefits students who are struggling with money and need easy access in case of an emergency. It is important to discuss this because it should be placed in the same category as toilet paper. While the tax has been exempted in the state of Illinois and is making its way towards public schools, universities should also follow suit with this legislation. A way University of Illinois can approach this issue is to take into account what Brown University has done. Back in 2016, a student-led organization at Brown influenced the institution's board of education to provide free tampons and pads at all nonresidential bathrooms across campus.
As discussed earlier, my audience will be anyone who is curious about period poverty and how to take action against it. I also want my topic to reach people who menstruate and understand the idea of not having control over their menstrual cycle. I want to normalize discussions revolving menstruation, rather than viewing it as a taboo topic. Additionally, people I want to reach are students who are involved in RSOs that focus on physical/mental/sexual health related topics, such as the Women’s Health Center and Active Minds. An action I am proposing is to present this idea to UIUC’s Board of Education so they can ensure all restrooms will have these products accessible to students. It would also be beneficial if these dispensaries are frequently switched with new products so there is never a shortage. Since we are going back in-person and using these restrooms, it would benefit students to know they should not have to run across campus to secure expensive sanitary products.
Articles:
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/college/2016/09/10/brown-university-free-tampons/90128406
https://www.pandiahealth.com/the-true-cost-of-your-period/
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